Hello readers!  It feels like we’ve been apart for too long.  But I am planning on rectifying that soon by starting up once more on January 3rd.  I’ll be coming back with what started it all, a review of the newest Twilight movie.  On top of that you can look forward to a regular schedule of posts, and possible guest reviews.  I’ll be regularly posting every Monday.

In the meantime, i’d like to share some fun times i’ve had with Omegle (www.omegle.com).  Omegle randomly connects you to a stranger for chat.  It’s completely anonymous and random and thus populated with all the worlds deviants.

Warning transcripts are regularly offensive so NSFW.

Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: I love music. During the early stages of life, I was a classic pots-and-pans drummer, only entertaining those of who were in short distance to hear my noise. I rocked. Growing up I was a head banger, listening to the classics and some metal with Dad. On the side from that, I was also an oldies boy; Mom’s music sure got me singing along. Sure, those genres are great but I never really established my destiny until 2 years before highschool. I stumbled upon a radio station with wide variety from Hip Hop, to R&B from Indie, to Dance. The best music I had ever heard. During the 8th and 9th grade, I listened to a nice selection of Rap, Hip Hop and R&B. From Eminem to Lil Jon, the Ying Yang Twins to Akon. I had always wondered how those funny sounds were played in “Miss New Booty” by Bubba Sparxxx.
You: that is fascinating
Stranger: fag
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: that was a long period of typing for nothing to appear
Stranger: 私はハンサムな男性とチャットする
Stranger: i want to find a man
You: is he lost?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey
Stranger: m or f
You: hi
You: morf?
Stranger: male or female
You: i’ll have one of each please
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Connecting to server…
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: looking for 22 f cali
You: i believe it’s spelled collie
Stranger: talking about the stat
Stranger: state
You: i don’t know what state it’s in, but i imagine if it’s 22 feet it is pretty big
You: possibly hungry
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Connecting to server…
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: heyy
You: howdy
Stranger: hii
Stranger: u frm .. ?
You: not yet!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

(this one required my keen technical skills)

Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi~
You: quickly theres no time
You: i’m you from 10 seconds in the future
Stranger: why?
You: don’t cut the red
Connection asploded.

Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: howdy
Stranger: do you want to be fucked?
You: is it pay day?
Stranger: i want to fuck if you are male
Stranger: im gay
You: that’ll be difficult
You: my personal preferences aside i can’t find anywhere on this computer that would provide such access
You: wait a minute!
You: …no,…no that’s just an exhaust port
You: the dell logo was a dead giveaway
Stranger: how old are you?
You: Mr. Hansen told me to say 14.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

I think this guy was feeling guilty about something

Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hi
Stranger: hi asl
You: 2009 male soon to return
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Connecting to server…
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: you ready
You: hell yeah! I was born ready!
Stranger: i’m taking off my pants.
You: Wait did you bring protection?
Stranger: Of course. I’ve got the trojans right here.
You: I brought a gun.
Stranger: what?
You: I shoot you in the chest. You’re bleeding out on the floor.
Stranger: this is gay.
You: Next time don’t bring a condom to a gun fight.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

and now messages through time….

Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hello…where u from?:3
You: the future!
You: i am you!
Stranger: lol
You: tell her you love her, she’s been waiting this whole time just to hear those words!
Stranger: i dont beliee in love o-o
You: also avoid the zoo for next 3 years
Stranger: i hate animals
Stranger: o-o
You: Oh, you will past me, you will
Stranger: i hate animals
Stranger: i hate jesus,god
Stranger: black people o-o
You: wait a minute, this doesn’t sound like past me at all
You: especially considering that i’m black jesus
Stranger: ooh
You: and I ride a green lion
Stranger: i hate you jesus
Stranger: you’re liar =p
You: it’s true
You: he’s more a turquois
Stranger: heil hitler
Stranger: is better
Stranger: ;D
You: god damn it, i must be looking at a past alternate reality me
You: hold on let me reconfigure the vibromatrix
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Connecting to server…
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hi
Stranger: Hiiiiiiiiiiiii, drunk happy guy here chancing his arm, sooo totally taking a chance – it’s my BIRTHDAY! Go naked on cam for me as a pressie! )
You: what day is it today?
You: what year is this?
Stranger: 2216
You: oh dear heaven!!! i’ve travelled to far!
You: tell me something sir, have women gained the right to vote?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey
You: hello
Stranger: asl
You: 34 male the quantum chamber
You: i’ve been sent back in time to right what once went wrong
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: hello
Stranger: from?
You: the future!
Stranger: how is the future?
You: still no hoverboards
Stranger: wtf ?
You: i know right?!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

and finally my favorite, because in the end, we all learned a thing or two.

Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hi
Stranger: asl
You: 435 redwood washington
You: the state, not the capital
Stranger: female?
You: yes, but technically underage when it comes to redwoods
Stranger: ??
You: if you’re willing to not count my rings i won’t say anything
Stranger: rings??
Stranger: ok
Stranger: i wont say
You: so what do you like doing?
Stranger: alot
You: do you hear that buzzing sound?
Stranger: no
You: hmm, never mind, it’s distant
You: ever go on hikes?
Stranger: ohh
Stranger: not reall
Stranger: y
You: man that sounds annoying
You: i enjoy the hikers that pass by
You: i’m a provider, you know shade, what not. one might say i’m quite giving
You: that’s funny
Stranger: giving eh?
You: hold on this guys coming up to me, ugg
You: what an ugly color for a vest, it completely doesn’t match his yellow hat
You: what…what are you doing
You: oh god
You: oh god no stop!
Stranger: in bed
You: the pain
You: its unbairable
Stranger: ??
You: he’s cutting
You: it hurts
You: ahhh
You: please
You: before i lose consciousness
You: tell the others
You: If you’re interested i have a website for you to check out http://www.rffi.org/AboutRFFI.html
You: ahhhhh!!!
You: the pain forced me to mispell unbearable!!!!
You have disconnected.

1 Comment »

1. I have to admit, I’d sort of given up on this site. . .

   But those conversations were absolutely hilarious!

   I’m extremely glad that I checked back here, especially since you’ve promised to write some new reviews.

   See you in January.

   Comment by McWalter — December 9, 2009 @ 6:35 pm

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