Pretty soon, M. Night Shyamalan’s movies will no longer be a candidate for me to talk about on Movie Stupidity.   There is a certain genre of film that (probably knowingly) contains a high level of stupidity, and that becomes the expectations of the movies themselves.  You don’t watch “Cabin Fever” thinking you’re going to get an intense psychological drama.  You’re expecting campy gore, with horrible dialogue, and scenes so ridiculous that the stupidity has to be purposeful.

Shyamalan’s work is pretty much at that point.  You can  assume that when you go to his movie, there is going to be a high degree of stupidity to face.   Unless he comes out with something new, I’m only going to discuss three movies of his.  The very foundation of Signs, Unbreakable, and The Happening, could each be shattered by a simple questions from the start of the movie.

Stupid.

I know you are probably wondering why “The Village” is not a member of these three.   It is true that there are several reasons why this movie hits the stupid marker, but the core “twist” of the movie can be justified to a degree.  I cannot say how people would act were they to grow up in an environment so different from ours.  Nor do I know the exact regulations for reserves, and whether or not areas within could be left secluded for so long.  It’s a leap of faith to believe these things, a tall one at that, but not necessarily one of stupidity.

Unbreakable is different.   The movie follows a man as he discovers that he is in fact a superhero.  This discovery prompted by a man named Mr. Glass sets him on a path of self awareness as he tests the various degrees of his powers.   All accept one, and that is the degree to which he is breakable.

Why not take a small pin, and stick your finger? It’s as simple as that.  If it doesn’t stick into your skin you can elevate to something a little more dangerous, but still safe.   That would probably have answered your question in the first 20 minutes.  Now my friend brought up a decent point, that the reason he had not done so, was because he did not want to actually disprove his being a superhero.  I might find that an acceptable answer even after all the tests that he’d done, but with the exception of one problem.  At one point in the movie his kid, trying to determine the validity of his fathers powers, holds a gun up to his face.  Apparently he’s one of those kids that tried to determine if he could fly by leaping off a second floor balcony, breaking an arm, and suing DC.  At that point, regardless of sentiment, wouldn’t the pin test be your “go to” move?

Signs is just horrible.  Imagine you are the leader of a conquering nation of super aliens.  You are a highly advanced species, with not only technological, but natural characteristics that put you in a position to dominate any species you confront.  Let’s say, for sake of the example, that you also happen to be a pretty teen sorority chick, with a nice body, and a continual intoxication acquired from a combination of too many fruity alcoholic beverages, and one too many pills of ecstasy.    Do you decide to invade Rapeulon?  A planet whose surface is covered by 3/4 rapists, and where it rains rape from the skies?  No.  You don’t.  You try to attack Twisteropia, a planet filled with twister mats and silliness, where the worst thing that can happen to you is an awkward next morning, and a possibly embarrassing video on YouTube.

My point, though horribly convoluted in the example above, is that an alien species set on global domination, with technologies that allows interstellar travel might have decided not to invade the planet  that is almost completely covered with the very stuff that kills them.  Or they might have at least packed a wet suit.

Finally I’d like to discuss the Happening.  The movie suggests that because we humans are nasty polluters that Trees would strike back and start forcing us to kill ourselves.   What the hell Shyamalan? None of this movie makes a lick of sense.  It doesn’t even make sense to the people in the movie, but then they try to explain it with a “Well regardless of whether it makes sense or not, this is what’s happening.”   Don’t try to suggest a rational for why the  event happens, only to refute that rational, and still push it as the only explanation for why things are happening. That’s laziness.  If anything I could only suggest that this movies stupidity is a parody of  “Creationist Science”.

Wouldn’t the more natural response of trees be more along the lines of consumption of different gasses or something more akin to secreting a poisonous substance on its skin? Wouldn’t the affect take a long period of observable time?  Wouldn’t it just continue to release whatever chemicals it has, having been inexorably changed, and not stop after a couple days?  Wouldn’t it happen in an area where trees specifically are more at threat as in any of the logging countries?  Wouldn’t it happen to a specific plant type and not just all trees?  Wouldn’t it happen to a plant life that is more in danger of damage?  Wouldn’t it have started thousands if not millions of years ago when things started eating plants?  If scientists and politicians can still argue over the affect that humans have on the environment on a whole, is it possible to believe that thousands upon thousands of trees individually came to that conclusion and attacked humans directly, rather than adapting around the pollutants they are facing?

If you are suggesting that trees can not only rationalize, but communicate and coordinate, than why try to suggest science has anything to do with it,  since that very explanation is so against anything that science teaches us.  You might as well have just explained the effect was caused by Evil Wizards killing the last of the Unicorns.<-->

12 Comments »

1. The Signs aliens I always assumed were not the actual owners and builders of the spaceships (remember that they are quite stupid and can’t even open the doors, or wear clothes) – perhaps they were more like the aliens in “Aliens”, in that they somehow killed the smart aliens aboard that ship and it had already plotted a course towards earth. Once there, they didn’t really know what to do anyway.

   Comment by Jan — December 16, 2008 @ 9:43 am

2. It’s quite an assumption, but it requires the creation of an entirely unannounced and unreferenced storyline. It would be easier to assume that the vast difference in culture and society might explain some actions. In a civilizatio without doors, how does one handle one that is locked. I like movies that make you think, but this one forces you to make excuses.

   Comment by Bebarce — December 16, 2008 @ 11:12 am

3. Funny thing is, Spielbergs War of the Worlds adaptation follows the exact same formula: one family’s account of an alien invasion, which ends because of some silly thing that’s harmless to humans (water/bacteria).
   I guess the real problem is that Shyamalan makes such a big deal out of his plot twists as being the whole point of his movies. In comparison, in Spielbergs WOTW, you don’t really care how the aliens die.
   I actually liked both movies a lot, though.

   To quote Futurama:
   “In the end, it was not bombs that killed the aliens. It was life’s humblest of creations. The Tyrannosaur Rex.”

   Comment by Jan — December 16, 2008 @ 5:35 pm

4. I thoroughly enjoyed Unbreakable.

   Comment by Bebarce — December 16, 2008 @ 5:45 pm

5. I also enjoyed Unbreakable but what I noticed there? That whole thing about him drowning because he is too dense? Made sense. Why is it so hard to put that much thought into things, that is to say, why not take a step back and say “Does this make any sense?”

   Comment by Oliver — December 19, 2008 @ 9:14 pm

6. These movies are science fiction designed for entertainment purposes. Why are you comparing what was intentionally designed to be fantasy to that of reality?

   Comment by Lamby — January 16, 2009 @ 9:59 pm

7. I’m glad you asked. There is a difference between fantasy or science fiction and stupidity. Lets try a simple example.

   Flying on the back of a dragon is fantasy. You can enjoy and believe that within the context of the story, that their are dragons, and that dragons can fly.

   Now were the character to go on a quest half way around the world in search of a dragon that would fly him to his next door neighbors house (which is easily acessible and within walking distance), that is stupidity. Regardless of the fantastical elements, the logic is not sound.

   Science fiction is the same. You’re willing to believe a certain degree of psuedo science for the sake of the movie, but my discussions are on decisions or elements that are created in those stories that don’t make sense given the environment created.

   Here is a more recognizable example. I will be willing to believe that flying fast enough around the world will allow you to travel back in time. But if you can fly around the world that fast, but are not able to stop two short range missles traveling in opposite directions, then that’s stupid. Mutha fucka just didn’t like Hoboken.

   Comment by Bebarce — January 17, 2009 @ 5:14 am

8. I fully agree with your opinions on Shyamalans movies, basicly i watched the Happening, and felt that the movie is best depicted as a personal attack directed at your intelligence.

   The level of stupidity climaxes when “Marky Mark” tries to convince a fern to let him leave that house alive.

   Comment by Michael — March 16, 2009 @ 2:56 pm

9. If a plant somehow forces you to kill yourself, why would you in such exotic, violent ways? Wouldn’t your body just like, I don’t know, stop breathing?

   Comment by Neal — May 1, 2009 @ 10:45 am

10. Since “The 6th Sense” I know that M. Shayalawaman sucks. 6th Sense is a copy of Haunted (1995 http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0113269/) and The Village is highly overrated.

    Comment by Human — October 19, 2009 @ 6:36 pm

11. PANCAKES!!!

    PANCAKES!!!

    Comment by Rollo Tomasi — November 25, 2009 @ 8:19 pm

12. The plot of “Signs” makes a lot more sense if you assume the aliens aren’t an invasion… they’re a hunting expedition.

    Sure. You’re an alien Bubba, and you decide to do something a little more exciting this hunting season. Let’s go to that third planet, the one half-covered with water, and the other half covered with angry gun-wielding bipeds, for a REAL challenge!

    So you buzz the planet, mark a few good hunting sites, and call all your friends. Then you and your pals squat down in your makeshift invisible flying saucer duck blind, crack open a few beers, and send out your trained martian hunting monkeys to fetch back a few trophies….

    Comment by RHJunior — March 8, 2010 @ 3:43 pm

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