I’d like to try something different this week.  I was walking along the grocery isles when I saw a book titled ”Eat This, Not That” and thought that the same formula could be used for movies.  I didn’t pick up the book at the time, because I didn’t connect it to movies until later that night when I got home and turned on Netflix.  I caught a movie and realized that its specific storyline had very similar elements and yet was imbued with far less stupidity than its sister.

And so we have a new segment to Movie Stupidity called “Watch This, Not That” or WTNT (What Nut) for short.  So without further ado, I give you: Watch This, Not That 1: Let the Right One In vs. Twilight.

Let The Right One In fills that need for a vampire based romance, without a whiny self narrative.  It’s about a young boy who meets a vampire and falls in love with her, despite the fact that she’s an evil monster.  The big difference here between LTROI and Twilight is that the vampire actually acts like a fucking vampire and not some puffed up Lite-Brite Ken Doll.  This really does make the movie all that much better.  The monsters act like monsters, rather than just crying about being a monster.  A 12 year old girl shows bigger “horror balls” than Edward could ever muster across all the upcoming sequels.

Now i’m aware there is an American version, but I’ve not watched it.  I can say that this Swedish version is pretty damned good.  It also makes the whole thing feel more real.  Nothing says sallow faced vampire like a European adolescent.  Eli kills people, and is horribly burned by the sun, because that’s just what vampires do.  It doesn’t stop Oskar from falling for her though.  This is how youthful love should be; awkward and terribly violent.

I am not saying LTROI does not have scenes of stupidity in it.  I’m just saying that given a comparison to Twilight, I’d say it’s a two percent to heavy cream ratio.  For instance at one point a man, given a set of reasonable indicators, is lead to believe that he is in fact facing a vampire.  When he goes to attack the vampire in her sanctuary however, he only brings along a small pocket knife.  Knowing that you’re going up against a vampire (even if you don’t believe in all the rumors) why you would show up with anything less than a wooden stake lined with silver, dipped in holy water, and sprinkled with garlic powder.

Then there is her father figure.  I say figure, because I’m not sure if they’re ever clear as to what he is.  The man goes out and butchers people, draining them of their blood so that he can bring it back to his daughter.  However the process is so long and the risk of being caught so great, that it doesn’t make sense why they aren’t using the naturally skilled night hunter to get her own meals.  It’s not like serial killer style murders is any less attention grabbing then a vampire attack so long as she agree to mess up the point of blood retrieval after she was done.

Yup. Super discreet he is.

Outside of these and a few more bits of stupidity that might spoil the movie more than I’d like to in this review.  I do know that people who read the novel, or read the forums, or just figured it out on their own, may realize a bit more truth about Eli than I’ve written about, but I still don’t think it diminishes from the story, or relationship shown therein.  You don’t have to point me to any books, but I will say that there are scenes in the movie that will make the viewer a bit confused and reasonably so.

Still, I would rather be confused about these subtle aspects than be confused about how a full town of ethnically diverse young men can all simultaneously be attracted to the same scrawny awkward stuttering new girl.  LTROI has quite a few awkward silent scenes in it that makes a person try to read what’s happening without words.  In Twilight the awkward pauses are all choreographed, and excruciating.  Yes you’re staring longingly into his eyes because you love him. Now can we please move on? You’ve been like in that fucking field of flowers for what feels like hours.

"Are you thinking about how much you love me?" "No i'm just saying 'Squeal like a pig!' over and over again in my head. You know, the usual."

Finally I’d say that the last thing LTROI has on Twilight is realism.  Now this sounds pretty pathetic considering it’s a vampire love story, but I have to say it’s true.   The world of Twilight, set in the overused blue green transfer effect and filled with Abercrombie and Fitch floor associates seems to be in a world of its own; distant, unrealistic, and down right gaudy.  It’s hard to relate with the characters, when the characters are more just cut outs from Tiger beat.  LTROI feels like it got its cast by stopping random people boarding a subway car.  In Twilight characters are either 2 dimensional demons or caring and compassionate.  Even the vampires really do have good intentions.  LTROI has no black and white.  Everything is set in the all expansive grey, where we all actually reside.

Accept for my landlords.  They’re pretty much dicks, through and through.

1 Comment »

1. I’m now curious about LTROI, I hadn’t heard of it. I’ll have to check it out.

   Comment by CinemaObsessed.com — May 13, 2010 @ 6:54 am

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